Humans Of Gotham
by Chaos Supernova
Summary: Alaska Sloane, the host of the hit reality show Humans Of New York, has recently moved to a new city, for a new show - Humans Of Gotham! When she meets Bruce and Cat in a hotel elevator, Cat, an avid fan of her show, agrees to be Alaska's guide around Gotham, along with finding people for the show to focus on. Naturally, chaos follows. Suggest humans in Gotham to be focused on!


Humans Of Gotham

Ah, just looking at the dark, dismal city. Breathing in that stagnant, polluted air. Yes, I've reached Gotham.

It might not seem like it, but secretly, this city is a goldmine for weird people. And weird people are exactly what I need.

I scan the street names for South 66th, the street with the Embassy Hotel on it. Luckily, the producers are paying for me, or I'd have to stay in some sex-trap motel. The Embassy is one of the few nice hotels in Gotham, or at least that's what I've heard from the reviews.

I pull over at South 66th, looking up at the Embassy, a towering building made of what looks like slate that narrows to a spire, vaguely reminding me of the Empire State Building. The upper levels are lined with shiny windows and no balconies. A large clock dominates the center of the building, and underneath that is a giant revolving door flanked by tall, dark windows. It's all lit by small spotlights hidden in the cracks and corners of the building, to make it seem like the building is glowing itself.

In other words, it's nice.

Pushing the revolving doors, I walk into a fashionable lobby, with high marble ceilings and soft buttery lighting giving the room a cozy feel. The floors are marble, too, lines spiraling in an intricate geometric pattern.

The check in desk is directly in front of me. I walk up a short flight of stairs, hauling my luggage up. I plunk it down, facing the desk.

"Room 201?" I ask the bored concierge, a girl that has two pounds of makeup and 200 pounds of fat.

"You're Alaska Sloane?" she says, glancing up from filing her nails.

"Mm-hmm." I dig my credit card and driver's license out my purse, handing it to her. She takes them, and hands me a card in return. After a moment, she gives me my credit card and license back. I smile at her, but she's already back to her nails.

I take a left turn, and enter a cozy little sitting room, overstuffed chairs surrounding a granite fireplace. On the opposite wall are the elevators. I'm tempted to sit down for a second, but I don't. I continue to the elevators.

Floor ten, was it? I think it was floor ten. I jam the button and yawn. It's been a long drive, especially for someone who's only been driving for a few years. I lean against the wall.

Suddenly I'm aware that there's a person next to me. I jump up, startled. The person next to me is someone a few years younger than me, maybe 13? 14? Wait a second...I recognize his face from the newspaper. Bruce Wayne, Gotham's very own golden boy! Next to him is a girl, dressed drastically different from the mini-billionaire. Her clothes don't detract from her prettiness, though, if they don't add to it. Isn't that style street chic, or something that's trending on Instagram?

Bruce smiles politely at me while the girl scrutinizes me. "Um, hi," I say, trying to look friendly and not at all intimidated by the girl.

"Hi, I'm-"

"Hey, aren't you that girl from Humans Of New York? I love that show!" the girl interrupts.

"You do?" Bruce asks.

"Yeah, remember all those times I asked you to shut up so I could watch TV?"

"Oh..."

I grin. I never expected someone to recognize me. "Yeah! I'm here to do a spin-off show, it's called Humans Of Gotham. Know any interesting people?"

"Are you kidding me? There's plenty of- wait, if I tell you, can I get paid?" she asks, narrowing her eyes.

"Um, how much do you want?"

"1,000 per episode."

"500 and you've got a deal."

"1,000."

"I can just hire another local for one fourth of that."

"Fine, 500."

"Deal." We shake hands. Bruce seems kind of confused about the entire thing. He looks like a lost puppy. Cute kid. "I'm Alaska Sloane, what's your name?"

"Selina Kyle. But my friends call me Cat."

"Nice to meet you, Cat. And I already know Bruce Wayne."

She snorts. "Who doesn't?"

"Yep. So, any ideas for our first human?"

She grins. "I've got a few..."

 **It's me, Nova, again...god, I have so many freaking stories right now... But this one was inspired by 95's story** _ **The Secret Diaries Of Alfred Pennyworth**_ **, namely chapter 62, with the TV producer coming to interview the kids in Wayne Manor. This story isn't going to be as lighthearted as that one, but there will definitely be some comedy and sticky situations. Leave a review saying what other humans of Gotham you'd like to see videoed, interviewed, and generally harassed by Alaska and her helpers!**

 **ILYA, Nova**


End file.
